And Then He Jumped

I wonder if he thought about the impact he'd have on the poor conductor's life, who forced himself into early retirement after the traumatic event. I'm sure he thought about his family he was leaving behind, his close friends, and his two ex-wives, but probably not about the conductor. Or who knows what he thought about as he downed a six pack of brew and smoked some cigarettes there on the overpass. He certainly didn't think about me, as we haven't spoken in a long time. It was seven years ago actually the last time we spoke which was ironically, at a funeral.


I had just moved to Phoenix in 1986 and met a fellow artist at work that became my best friend over the years. She discovered I was a volleyball player and invited me out to her husband's company volleyball league at Cactus Park. Being new in town, it was just the social link I needed to meet other volleyballers and Johnny B. was one of them. We bonded instantly, both being Hoosiers out there in the middle of the desert. We were the only ones still wearing striped tube socks for heaven's sake.*

I quickly discovered that Johnny B. had a fierce competitive streak in him, which I loved. He often chose me to be on his team. Over the many seasons we played together, we often sat in the park after it was dark and Johnny B. made up games on the spur of the moment for the group to play. He loved games of all kinds. He started inviting me to his house for game night and we'd play games like charades and euchre** all night long. Even back then, I sensed he was a paradox in that he loved to socialize and be around people, to play sports and games, and yet he was a very private person about his life.


The question is Why?, which no one can answer right now. The only clue being that we know he got back some medical tests the day before, which must have been devastating. Still, a person like myself finds it hard to comprehend my Hoosier friend Johnny B. not putting up a competitive fight against whatever it was. Many of his closer friends feel the same way and had the same reaction upon reading the news in the paper. This has got to be a game... some kind of elaborate game and we're all being punked. But it was just wishful thinking as now there's no denying the police-investigated reports and the conductor's eye-witnessed account. This troubled and deeply private person must have thought through it all before deciding. I trust that he spun the aftermath in his head and weighed his choices more than once.

And then he jumped, after setting aside his wallet and phone, into the path of the oncoming train below.


* He is pictured on the right in his tube socks. I'm crouching on the right and you either can't see mine because I used to scrunch them down, or it was after I rapidly learned they were too hot to wear in AZ.
* A mid-western card game involving trump.